Thursday, January 22, 2015


illustrations by palomine studios

i wanted a gerbil for christmas
i got a hamster instead
it is important to realize that a hamster is not a gerbil
just because a hamster looks like a gerbil does not make it one

knowledge can be useful sometimes
chef boyardee lasagna is the best
many strange things happen in this world
no one is exactly sure why

orangutans can be inscrutable
parrots often treat humans with disdain
quite apart from the expense involved
certain types of rugs can be difficult to clean

so many people came to pay their respects
too many to be thanked individually
but uncle david did his best
because there is no substitute for victory

where are all the smarty-pantses now?
i expect they ran home to their mommas
the youth of today are quite hopeless
zeal and pride are foreign to them

all the authorities are in agreement
the best is far behind us
consider the recent electoral campaign
doubtless the most depraved on record

enervation is now the style
but fashions change all too quickly
the guests will be arriving soon enough
let us show them some old-fashioned hospitality

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