have a care, part 2

by bofa xesjum

under a cloudy sky it was cold outside in the quaint little town the old man had lived there all his life and thought young people did not know anything and that that was a bad thing under the cloudy sky in the quaint little town where people knew their ancient rights the clouds got darker i remember you now excuse me, i do not remember you in that case, permit me to introduce myself my name is joe the joker very soon all will be revealed right here, in this quaint little town do you remember me now? i knew your old man it was cold outside in those days but young people don’t know anything about that which is a shame nobody seems to care nobody at all excuse me, can you get to the point if you have one? i am sorry you feel that way i am about to reveal everything because it is cold outside

have a care, part 1

by bofa xesjum

very soon all will be revealed how exceedingly quaint permit me to introduce myself young people don’t know how to act these days that is just too bad, isn’t it? never say never young people don’t know how to act these days what gives you the right to think that? nobody seemed to care permit me to introduce myself so’s your old man it is cold outside is it really that cold outside? excuse me, do i know you? very soon all will be revealed what gives you the right to say so? my old man gave me the right, as he gave me the right to say and do anything i darn well pleased i remember you now it was cloudy when i got here never say never permit me to interpolate a few well-chosen remarks. nobody cares what you think nobody seems to care what anybody thinks about anything excuse me, who asked for your opinion? are you the host here? i was hired by the owner of these premises and he told me i could say whatever i pleased it never ends, does it?

a cabal, part 2

by rhoda penmarq

little did they know after the ball was over when she caught the servant girl going through her portmanteau she remained calm, though inwardly coldly raging i know you are the spawn of spiders and midnight is almost upon us i am gratified to have found you so easily virtually at the stroke at midnight the king, you know, is inclined to be merciful but i am not the king, my child oh, madam, you sadly misunderstand me in this time of turmoil and madness involving persons in the highest places i would never do anything dishonorable you mistake me for another the end of the ball was only the beginning and now that we are alone i can explain you think it all a joke, do you? the persons in high places do not understand now that the ball is over oh, little do they know! in the furthest reaches of the empire there are desperate people even as we speak who presume on the king’s mercy but it is no joking matter and involves not only persons in high places because little do they know

a cabal, part 1

by rhoda penmarq

involving persons in the highest places just because they are the spawn of traitors the baroness retired to her room but little did they know the king is inclined to be merciful at that moment she determined midnight is almost upon us in the furthest reaches of the empire beyond the borders of the furthest provinces at a time of great upheaval in the furthest reaches of the empire the baroness carefully closed the door behind her midnight was almost upon her just because she was the descendant of heroes and bitterly resented the upstarts who were endangering the empire i would not try that if i were you to seek the enchantress out disguised as she may be as a servant girl at that moment she cried out i would not try that if i were you no matter how determined you may think you are this is a time of great upheaval yet though the king is inclined to be merciful the ball is over i too am determined in this time of unprecedented chaos and i am retiring to my estate

all sorts of weather

by bofa xesjum

the orangutan and the zouave went out in all sorts of weather to find the flamingo which had escaped from the carnival somewhere between erie prennsylvania and abilene kansas but had enough respect for tradition not to serve strawberry shortcake to the returning troops as had been the habit in general custer’s day before the dawn of the new civilization which flowered so briefly after the perusal of the enigmatic message from the lovely lady who had very strong opinions but expressed them, happily in the boldest and briefest manner

cobra

by bofa xesjum

the cobra is early the hotel is empty so is the grand stand the rajah tells a joke the adept returns with the trash the blind queen smiles and notes the king’s distress mention of money irritates him but losers always find apples and the victims sip their wine the judges open their wallets and the sentries are out of excuses nothing under the moon belongs to the waitress approaching with her tray

trash

by bofa xesjum

take out the trash after a while but do not expect to be understood your route will be noted and your coral will be lost in the deeps youth is false and money is left on the porch while the king cases the joint and the joker steals the olive out of the martini only the vapid is truly grand stirred to irate depths an exception will be made for the moneyman at least in the finest hotels the point i make is folly i apologize to the audience in advance

the promotion

by bofa xesjum

perhaps you might oblige us by stating exactly what it is that you want. i want my rights, and nothing more. very amusing. you know perfectly well that the committee has suspended all rights indefinitely. what do you feel inside, when you find yourself making such statements? take a break, tolliver. i will take over interrogating this stubborn citizen. tolliver quickly acceded to the inquisitor’s suggestion, and quitted the room. the inquisitor smiled at zero when they were left alone together. i feel obsolescent, the inquisitor remarked affably. this is not at all the way i was accustomed to doing things in the old days. no doubt it all seems a thousand years ago since we last met, zero replied. be that as it may, i have a proposition for you, the inquisitor continued in his most friendly manner. i have no choice but to listen. i want you to kill poor tolliver when he returns. i of course will not be present when you do the deed. what is the sense of that? and what am i to use as a weapon? what except your bare hands? you were always physically up to any task, though a mental weakling. i see your sense of the ridiculous has not deserted you. do you wish to be free to go or not? simply strangle or otherwise dispose of tolliver when he returns, and walk out of this room and out of the building. no one will stop you. tolliver, of course will raise a hue and cry if you attempt to leave without silencing him. very well. i agree. good. i see you have made strides in understanding how things work. the inquisitor got up and left without further ado. tolliver returned, with a leer on his face and a manila folder in his hand. the inquisitor offered to free me if i killed you, zero greeted him. did he now? he has curious ways of amusing himself. tolliver seated himself at the table and opened the folder. i believe we had got as far as your acceptance into the guards. just so. and my first promotion. something new has come up, which surpasses all understanding.

the alley

by bofa xesjum

a cat emerged from an alley. it took its time. it looked down the street. the street had no beginning and no end. frank, a drifter, approached the alley from which the cat had emerged. frank had been young once. but not recently. frank had been something of a joker in his day. he had teamed up with a girl named lillian. i remember them well - well, maybe not so well as all that. there were thousands like them thronging the avenues and boulevards after the invasion. they were all born under the same bad sign. so they danced the night away. some people remember those times with a sad smile. myself, i do not happen to be one of them. in my opinion people like frank and lillian destroyed civilization and should be held accountable. but that is just my opinion. others may happen to think differently. i am starting to ramble. lillian had a husband named edward, who was old enough to be her father, and whom, of course, she hated. for my part, i do not think edward was a bad fellow, or deserved his fate. in his youth he had had dreams of greatness, like so many before him. where are they now, with all their dreams? the cat was a shade of dark gray. frank was wearing a brown hat and a blue suit, both the worse for wear. he did not look good in black, much as he wished to do so. do you have any questions? i am always at your service.

banana

by bofa xesjum

so you have emerged victorious, my friend, from your struggle with your longtime adversary. the khan observed with a cultivated smile which fooled no one. i took advantage of his ill-advised impetuosity, omar responded with a humble, yet slightly frosty air. what futile exercises in sophistry they are both indulging in, margaret reflected with her face a mask of hauteur. a turtle crawled across the ballroom floor toward the assembled group. outside on the savanna an elephant brayed loudly, causing penelope to shudder theatrically, but nobody paid her any mind. the hacienda had been under siege for quite some time, the turtle reflected absently. johnny walker, uncomfortable in his tight fitting waiter’s uniform, wished he were back in pocatello idaho.. a gorilla stepped up to the microphone on the podium and asked for quiet, as he had an important announcement to make. but as the announcement was only about the zoning regulations, the assembled guests quickly tuned him out. no one wins in these encounters, as we have seen so often before in the history of civilization. just ask constable o’rourke, the next time you see him sampling an apple from the gypsy’s stall. or sometimes it might be a banana, if the mood strikes him. the orchestra kept up a steady flow of soothing music, but few of the guests seemed inclined to dance. mulligan, seated in the corner to the left of the front door facing the bandstand, kept his own counsel, as always.

questions

by bofa xesjum

questions are confusing to uncle conrad in the haystack as the armies of the night march through miss lilly’s jokebook which sat on top of the. piano open to the four winds but nobody understood the jokes except the chambermaid as she tiptoed past the kitchen door hoping to surprise cousin fred in the act of jimmying the lock of the gate to sir guy’s vineyard which had been unattended for many a year i remember well how curious good king richard was about the whole affair on his last visit before he blew everything up and departed for the holy land

what what

by bofa xesjum

charlie underwood inhaled the heavy karma of victorian litigation as the boys ducked into the doorway . professor george armstrong mckinley appeared with an empty bag. just put the gold bars in the corner outside in the forest, the professor told charlie. strange things can only be imagined, he added. a quickwitted youth, charlie had left his friend’s house to attend the king’s funeral in the red dawn. very softly, with expectations just under the liberally defined border of defiance , a yammering was heard. darn it! charlie exclaimed, * i very much prefer to go as native as the algorithms make me, the archbishop told jonathan. perhaps some happy corrections can be quietly recorded - nothing salacious, only friends may comment, jonathon offered. until the towers tremble at whitsuntide, the joke will be on the high-faluting nihilists who conceded the republic of the night to the underbelly of the laughing maneaters of the empire, the archbishop replied tartly. inquire into it at your leisure, he added. perhaps a total exhumation of the junior branch of the victorious party will divert a little of the fury of the barbarian yokels, jonathon countered. the quasi-serious lackeys of the commission behaved as if the right to hauteur foreclosed their witlessness, the avchbishop insisted. * later that evening, in their favorite low dive, charlie and jonathon could not agree on a plan. charlie blamed it on the archbishop, and thought jonathon should take a firmer approach with him.

the spinners

by bofa xesjum

if a wolf was a cow it would not howl in the desert if a cat was a refrigerator it would not chase a mouse if an elephant was a cheeseburger it would not knock over a tree the wolf, the cow, the desert, the cat, the refrigerator, the mouse, the elephant, the tree, and the cheeseburger are all out there. because they are all the same and all have a story to tell all the same and all different all the same and all doing different things spinning and spinning dancing in the sunshine dancing in the dark but you do not care you do not want to hear their stories and maybe they do not want to hear yours but then again maybe they do who knows? you never know who might be interested in what