"i bet they'd let you into heaven wearing a suit like that."
"you never know."
"i'm serious. i've never seen a more perfectly fitting suit."
"are you trying to make fun of me?"
"look at this menu. it's printed in french."
"what do you care? you can't even read chinese."
"i can order chinese though."
"i bet you can. i'll just bet you can."
"did you watch the news this morning? this guy jumped off the eiffel tower to protest something."
"i said this guy jumped off the eiffel tower to protest something. or maybe it was the verrazano-narrows bridge."
"i mean, what was he protesting?"
"i don't know, i didn't watch the whole thing."
"i bet they don't stop doing whatever he was protesting."
"i really like that name - verrazano-narrows bridge. no matter how many times i hear it, i think it's the coolest name in the world."
"if you say so."
"verazzano-narrows bridge. i could say it a thousand times and never get sick of it."
"that shows you have good character."
"thank you. that guy who jumped off the bridge, he must have been pretty upset about whatever he was upset about."
"he must have been."
"heaven is smiling on is today."
"what makes you say that?"
"that's quite a bit of money."
"this guy in the paper."
"why, what did he do?"
"he wanted to play a big joke, to show his girl friend he had a sense of humor."
"so what did he do, buy a joke store?"
"do they even have joke stores any more? when was the last time you saw one?"
"i don't knpw, i don't go down to that part of town any more."
"what part of town is that?"
"the part of town where they have all the joke stores. down around where they have all the chinese restaurants."
"no, not chinatown."
"but you just said - "
"you don't have to be in chinatown to have a chinese restaurant."
"i'm fully aware of that, thank you very much."
"it's kind of dark in here."
"i can read the menu."
"why do need to read the menu? you always order the special."
"excuse me, are you gentlemen ready to order?"
"i'll have the special."
"he always has the special."
"and what would you like, sir?"
"i'll have the special too."
sources: gaspard de la nuit, by aloysius bertrand
claude's confession, by emile zola
doctor zhivago, by boris pasternak
the case of the sulky girl, by erle stanley gardner
the case of the bigamous spouse, by erle stanley gardner
something happened, by joseph heller
edith's diary, by patricia highsmith
when everybody ate at schrafft's. by joan kanel slomanson