all right, dylan, my friend, let’s get on with it.
my name isn’t dylan, it is zenith.
you told me it was dylan.
i just changed it. i can give myself any name i choose.
not a problem. we are all friends here, just trying to keep the ball rolling and the machinery of civilization humming.
no we are not friends, you are hateful bureaucratic scum and would be eliminated in a truly inclusive and caring society.
i will make a note of that. but to return to the next question -
do we really have to?
we do if we want to finish in time for lunch.
oh, all right.
what is your favorite color?
carmine.
carmine? let me see - that is some shade of red, is it not?
blood red - the blood of tyrants, fascists, and bureaucrats like you.
oh look, here are your apple juice and doughnut. thank you, 784.
they do not look all that appetizing.
try to make the best of it - next question: what was your first pet’s name?
goldie.
thank you. what -
don’t you want to know what kind of pet goldie was?
no. that is not one of the questions.
goldie was a sea lion, the sweetest sea lion who ever lived, and i loved her with all my innocent childish heart.
what is your favorite restaurant - mcdonalds, arby’s, burger king or chick-fil-a?
the french laundry.
i will put down chick-fil-a. where are you from?
someplace. i have absolutely no idea.
what was your first job?
assistant consultant.
that is what they all say.
are you doubting my word?
what your mother’s maiden name?
jones.
that is what they all say.
look here, i do not care much for your attitude, mister bureaucrat.
time’s up. thank you for your input, zenith. you did very well, we will forward you your results.
my name is not zenith - it is yorba the magnificent.
good-bye, yorba.
can i finish my doughnut and apple juice?
yes, in the elevator.
i do my best work and have my best thoughts in the elevator.
next!
